Life is a relationship. From the moment of conception until our last breath we’re always in relationships. We can scarcely get through a moment of the day without “bumping into” another human being. Each of these relationships, whether with the paper boy or our mortgage banker, reflects something about our state of mind and our view of the world.
We have, in this daily classroom we call life, endless opportunities to learn about ourselves and the world around us. Have you noticed that your feelings about someone changes from time to time? We tend to think that it’s because they have done something to annoy us or said something we didn’t like.
The truth is that most often it’s our thinking that has changed. We, for some reason are operating from a lower level of well-being and the world feels and looks less to our liking. We have taken life, and our thinking about it, very personally. The more we can have faith that this low thinking will pass and that we will come back to our equilibrium, then the less we will react to our crummy feeling.
There are no unimportant relationships. Everyone we meet, everyone we do business with, everyone in our world deserves our compassion and understanding and dare I say it, love. This of course doesn’t mean we can or should approve of everyone’s behaviour or that we’ll be able to agree on everything.
What it means simply is that we can see past the behaviour to the truth that within every human being is that core of perfect health. Often we will decide that we don’t want to hang out with that person when they’re angry, judgmental, racist, sexist or whatever. That’s our choice. It’s only when we get gripped by anger, judgement, etc. that we’ve missed the opportunity. Someone else’s bad feeling doesn’t create our bad feeling.
Rapport and respect are the most important components of every relationship. Relationships flourish when we have rapport and respect as our main goals, rather than what we’re getting from the other person.
This is especially true of those closest to us. Somehow it seems easier to be respectful of the sales clerk or the bank teller than of our siblings or our children. Perhaps though, we should change an old adage to “rapport and respect begin at home”.
The more awareness we bring to each moment, the more we’re able to live in a seamless way. That means that all our relationships will be respected and valued. It means that we will be as compassionate with ourselves as we are with another. It means that we will deepen our understanding that the good feeling which seems to be generated by another, is really coming from inside us and is available whether we have a valentine or not.
The idea of opening our hearts to the people in our world and seeing them with new and softer eyes somehow makes us feel a little warmer, our shoulders a little more relaxed. It offers us an opportunity to open a door that may have been closed or to forgive an old hurt. Most of all it offers us a new look at the world of relationships, remember that’s what life is all about.