When we feel that someone or something outside ourselves is responsible for our mood we have in effect given them (or it) control of our bus. We’ve decided that if only they behaved differently or saw things differently (i.e. “my way”) then we would feel better. We’ve essentially bought into the mistaken idea that life is an outside in experience and that we are at the whim of outside events.
We have quite innocently fallen prey to that view of the world. This is partly the result of what we’ve been taught, but also because it so often feels as if we are simply victims of an unpredictable life.
Thanks to the brilliant insights of Sydney Banks we’re now able to understand what’s truly behind our moment to moment experience. Every event, every interaction, is a direct reflection of our state of mind; in other words, of our thinking. Life is an inside out experience from beginning to end.
That can be, at first, a rather daunting idea to embrace. To accept full responsibility, not only for our actions but also for our thinking and therefore our experience, in every moment, may seem like too heavy a burden. It is, in truth, the exact opposite. It’s ultimately freeing. We’re no longer dependent on what someone else thinks or does in order to feel good about ourselves or content with our lot. We’re no longer reliant on certain outcomes in order to feel satisfied or at peace.
As we begin to experience the amazing results of living from the inside out we become our own research project. We can realize we have a choice in every moment. We can choose to react and take each encounter personally or we can choose to step back and see the reality that we are the director of our movie. We write our own script.
With this realization comes the awareness that we can’t write another persons’ script. They, too, have choice and through their own insights have the capacity to see the inside out nature of life and their role as the creator of their experience.
So how do we know when we have fallen back into old habits of thinking, taking life personally and being gripped by thoughts that don’t serve us? We can tell by the feeling that accompanies the thought. We have, within each of us, a constant barometer that reflects the nature of our every thought in the form of a feeling. I can’t have an insecure thought without having a feeling of discomfort or anxiety attached to it. Similarly, I can’t have a loving thought without having a loving feeling attached to it. It’s a perfectly delicate response system that tells us moment to moment where our thinking is taking us. As we become more tuned to the feeling we’re more readily able to choose wisdom over reactivity, compassion over judgment, common sense over ineffective habits. That makes for a much better script and a much smoother bus ride.
June will be holding a seminar titled: The Power of a Quiet Mind at Sun Peaks Resort during the Women’s Wellness Weekend: Sunday, September 16.